A simple cure for lower back pain

Do you suffer from lower back pain? Have you been to a Chiropractor and have been found to have nothing wrong with the vertebrae in your lower back? If this is the case then I have a possible solution to your lower back pain.

A good portion of lower back pain is caused by the tightening of the hamstring muscles. Where are your hamstring muscles? The muscle that runs down the length of the back or inside of the thigh. This muscle allows for the bending of your lower leg to kick yourself in the ass. And I have done that MANY times! But seriously, since the very top of the hamstring muscle attaches to your lower gluteus maximus (your butt) when it gets taught and needs to be stretched, it can be the cause of lower back pain until it is properly stretched. So, how do you stretch your hamstring muscles? Simple. Stand straight up with your feet about six inches apart. Now, keeping your knees straight, SLOWLY bend at the waist, arms outstretched towards the floor, and try to touch your toes. If you haven't done this stretch often, it's going to hurt like hell. That's because the muscle is so tight. Do this three to four times until you can touch your toes. That pull you feel at the back inside of your leg is the hamstring muscle being stretched. These muscles tighten up with age and need to be stretched on a regular basis. I suggest doing this stretching exercise every day about one hour after you have awakened. During this stretch, your knees will tend to want to bend to alleviate the pain. Keep them straight or the exercise will not be done properly. Over time, this stretch will become easier to do and less painful. If you have lower back pain and start stretching your hamstring muscles and notice relief, please write in a comment box describing your progress.

A MESSAGE OF HOPE FROM GOD

God came to me in a dream last night. He wasn't what I was expecting. He appeared to me as the diminutive actress Linda Hunt who starred in "The year of living dangerously" and most recently as "Stella" in the western, "Silverado." I said to him, "Oh my God, you're Linda Hunt!" She said, "Who were you expecting, Morgan Freeman?" I told her no and that I couldn't put a face on such an inexplicable entity. She smiled and sat next to me. She was at least half my size. I told her that for a God, she was pretty tiny. She said that the idea of God is small but not easily understood by many. She said that it was people who made God large and foreboding. "Good point," I said. "So, what do you want?" I asked. She said, "I have a list of things I'd like you to share with your readers and I like your style." I was flattered. Immediately, Charlton Heston and John Denver were in the room saying, "Hey, what about me?!" but Ms. Hunt silenced them by saying that they were dead and didn't have a blog. "Oh, yeah, right," they said and were gone.

 She then handed me a list of demands that she had made. I asked her why she needed a list? Why couldn't she just appear to everyone and tell them herself? She said, "Billions of people believe in me in some way or another. But, if I WERE to appear and claim to be God, who would believe me?" "Right," I said. "You'd be sharing a padded cell with other crazies!" "Exactly, and it's why I have you," she said. So, here, now, is the list that God gave me.

1) Don't call me unless it's an emergency!
Do you have any idea what reversed long distance charges do to my cell phone minutes? I have the trillion minute plan but I still get hit with the extra charge when I go over. And why do you insist on calling me while you're making love? it's always, "OH GOD!....OH GOD!....and I come running like a fool. And then I have to watch you make those silly faces. Very embarrassing! Oh, and another thing: I'm sick to my stomach at seeing you all naked. Have any of you looked at yourselves in the mirror lately? You've all swelled up like drowning victims. Here's some advice: Eat the fishes but pass on the loaves. Jeesh!

2) Must you pepper your conversations using my name ALL the time?
When I'm talking to my angels you don't hear me saying, "JERRY CLARK, how many times do I have to tell you guys to stop with the singing and rejoicing all the time. For BOB'S sake, can't a deity get some quiet around here once in a while?!" See how annoying that is? So, stop it or else. It's no skin off my nose to whip up some more hurricane Katrina's. What the hell, you blame ME for them anyway.

3) I am NOT pissed off. Stop blaming me for natural disasters, disease, famine, weather, and death.
Has it ever occurred to any of you that I am not angry? That I am not the cause of your strife? I have too much multi-tasking to do than to make mischief. In fact, I ignore you most of the time. Look, I built this whole place and stuck you on it. It is not cost effective to tear it all to pieces. You all do a pretty good job of that yourselves. Although, I DID do that big tsunami a few years back. Did you see how dirty you made my beach? How the hell else am I supposed to clean it? So, again, take responsibility for what happens around you. Don't think that I'll always come and bail you out like some drunken frat boy. Grow up, be responsible! If you don't, I WILL toss an asteroid your way. I did it before and I'll do it again!

4) Stop killing each other saying that I told you so.
I do not sanction death in my name. Besides, you've all got it all wrong. All of your separate dogma points to me in some way or another. But it has been by your own hands that you have edited my thoughts. You have all claimed to know what I am thinking. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I only think about one thing: How soon to the next round of "American Idol" tryouts. That stuff is funnier than 69 virgins. LOL!! So, stay out of my head. Put down your weapons and call a cease fire. I don't want you to kill anymore of my science experiment! Or, I'll evolve you all back into apes!

5) There really is no heaven or hell.
THAT was just bad press. Pure propaganda! There are only two absolutes that affect you all: Good and bad. You all should know the difference by now. Respect for nature and all my inventions is good. Processed food is bad. The only exception is ice cream. That's good AND bad. Heaven and hell are the choices you make. You either live your life treating others with respect and love (Heaven) or you commit pain and suffering to every one and every thing around you (Hell) I give you all ONE CHANCE to get it right. Don't waste it. You "Buddhists" are another story.

6) Don't ask me why you're there.
That's my little secret. Just enjoy yourselves while you can. It doesn't matter why you're there. It doesn't end when you do, I'll tell you that much. Each of you becomes a tiny part of the whole. There won't be any music, harps, clouds or dead relatives. You will reach a new level of consciousness. Do you know that weightless feeling you feel right before you pass out from too much "Jack Daniels?" THAT'S what death feels like. Don't be afraid. Be kind to each other. Love each other. Be nice to my planet or I'll make it so hot, you'll need 1,000,000 sun block.

How we are manipulated by fear

Fear: anxiety caused by real or possible danger. That is one of the definitions of fear according to Webster's New World Dictionary. All people fear something. Some fear more than others. My guess is that only a minute portion of the worlds population fear nothing. Which means somewhere, someone possess absolutely no fear of anything. Somewhere there is a human being cut off from the outside world safe from any natural predators and oblivious to the impending doom that is thrust down our throats on a daily basis. This person feels no anxiety, no fear for it's life, no dim outlook for the future. They are surrounded by complete bliss. The only emotion they experience is sheer joy. They have no access to Television. No access to radio. No Internet. No other human contact to supply them with apocalyptic certainty. They live in a vacuum. They sleep soundly at night and dream in total serenity. They have no need for pills, Doctors, Psychologists or Psychiatrists. Therapy is a foreign word. "Angst" has no meaning. Darkness turns to light, the sun passes overhead slowly leading into night and another day passes unremarkable. This person doesn't fear global warming, H1N1 virus, Aids, Ebola, depleted ozone layers, impending asteroid collisions, or National debt. Every time some robot newscaster reads the latest catastrophe or crisis from a teleprompter, they are immune. Right-wing talking heads that babble their opinions never reach their intended targets. Conspiracy theories never reach those ears. They never see the images of starving childrens' faces or see the devastation of earthquakes, hurricanes or tsunamis. They are immune to the fear that perpetuates our lives daily. And purposefully. Yes, fear of catastrophe is pushed upon us whether we like it or not. Because, with fear comes control. Control of the masses. If you live in constant fear all other aspects of life are trivial. The media figured out this tool during the fifties. Communism, the red scare was one of the earliest forms of control. Next, the cold war threat of nuclear annihilation taught us to fear for our lives and to run right out and buy bomb shelters. Children were conditioned to scramble under desks when the air raid sirens went off. During the sixties it was the threat of rock and roll music and the drugs associated with it that instilled fear in many of us. I was a young child during the sixties but I was never afraid of my 45 r.p.m. single, "I want to hold your hand, " by the Beatles. Should I have been afraid? And just when it looked like we had run out of things to fear, the media decided that we should fear black people. Organizations like The Black Panthers and black Muslims had the spot light shone on them. We were made to fear for our women and black empowerment. Radical student groups like the Weather underground instilled fear in us too. Then, the eighties arrived with a boon for the media to threaten us with more doomsday news: AIDS. Nothing like a slow, painful deadly epidemic to make most of us panic. Unprotected sex with a stranger signed your death warrant according to the media. Evangelicals had a field day claiming this newest threat was God's punishment for our Sodom  and Gomorrah lifestyle. And what greater fear is there than God's wrath?  But then something truly momentous happened: the Berlin wall came tumbling down and the most amazing thing happened: absolutely nothing. So, with an old threat now realized as no threat at all, the media needed something new: global warming. What a coup! A whole planet to instill fear upon. Another great catastrophe in the making to feed the fear machine. Oh, and let us not forget that other fear in-stiller: the drying up of our crude oil supplies. Yes indeed, anyone with a car had yet another reason to lose sleep. What will we do when the oil runs out? How will we cope with pharmaceuticals dumped in our water supply? AND WHAT ON EARTH WILL WE DO ABOUT THE TERRORISTS! Can you hear the media giants glasses clinking at the new endless supply of nightly news terror? Keep that alert on orange and watch the sales of Valium, Ativan and Xanax go through the roof. Say the words, "weapons of mass destruction" enough times and you will have people sleeping under their beds and duct-taping their houses shut. When people live in constant fear big business thrives. Drug manufacturers, gun manufacturers, home alarm systems companies all benefit from our fear. With the crisis of global warming looming over our heads and our children's heads, all alternative energy companies benefit. But it is the media that benefits the most. We glue our heads to the Television so we can be informed of the next crisis, the next catastrophe, the next natural disaster, the next car bomb explosion and all it's carnage. We as a nation are being manipulated. We are shown only the pain, suffering, atrocities, and acts of terror that occurs on this planet. There is no uplifting news, only death and tragedy. It is plain to see why people have panic attacks, anxiety attacks, lock their doors and refuse to be on the streets at night. We are being oppressed by fear; made to live in fear by what we are told and by what we see. The truth is obscured and manipulated by those whose job it is to report it to us unbiased. We need to question authority. We need to question the source. We need to understand who stands the most to gain by keeping us living in fear. "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" should be our mantra. Open your doors, step outside into the sun and be glad to be alive. Fear cannot hurt you if it is manufactured in your own imagination. Peace.

"There's trouble right here in..........St. Cloud???"

Remember that line from "The Music Man?" Well, it wasn't that line exactly, "trouble" was in River City not St. Cloud. But there was a man in St. Cloud who was looking for trouble. What he did and what he got falls short in my opinion.

 I can think of one hundred ways to get into trouble. Coat yourself in honey and walk through the woods after bear hibernation season is over. Create a necklace out of sirloin steaks and wear it as you enter the lion cage at the zoo. Paint a target on your chest and stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery. Wear a fake "afro' wig and a "black power" Tee shirt to a KKK rally. Sell "Tupperware" door-to-door in Detroit. Attach two hundred helium balloons to your lawn chair and forget to load your BB gun. Go bird hunting with Dick Cheney. Fill your FORD "Pinto" up with gas and enter a demolition derby. Attempt to ride your ten-year-old daughter's bicycle off of your roof and onto the trampoline. Start up a chain saw. Claim, "Someone is cheating" during a card game being held in the back room of a gun shop after three cases of BUDWEISER has been consumed. Tell your wife she DOES look fat in THAT!!

So, back to the man in St. Cloud. He strolled into a TARGET store and mentioned to some employees that he was "looking to get into trouble." His idea of "trouble" was to grab a baseball bat from the sporting goods department, take a walk over to "Electronics" and open a can of "whoop-ass" on an unsuspecting 50" plasma T.V. The T.V. pressed charges and the man is happily in jail. I say happily because it is obvious that that's where he wanted to go. Hey, look at it this way: free room and board, three square meals a day and free cable. What may seem like insanity to some could be a way of avoiding homelessness to others. Well, I must be off. I'm heading to my local TARGET store for a dose of trouble. If there is no new article here tomorrrow, you'll know why.

He should have gone on MATCH.COM instead.

One has to pity poor Rodell Vereen (no relationship to Ben) because the man has it bad. He has a "love jones" so bad that he will spend the next three years in jail. The fire of passion burns hot inside this man so much so, that blind love has driven him to make love to the same female not once but twice. You may ask yourself, "and for this he will spend three years in jail," while the female in question has never formally lodged a complaint? Where is the justice?

In Mr. Vereen's defense, the object of his desire, a twenty-one year old filly named "Sugar" must be quite a looker to cause him to be so smitten. "Sugar's" parents thought Mr. Vereen would never be right for her but considered her friend "Ed" to be her perfect match. "Sugar's" parents also suspected that Mr. Vereen was taking liberties with her so they secretly installed a video camera to catch Mr. Vereen in the love making act. When "Sugar's" parents fears were realized at the horrifying sight that the video camera recorded, they went straight to the police and logged a complaint. The charge: BUGGERY!  No, that does not mean the improper handling of a buggy; it means," having sex with an animal," in this case a horse! That's right, "Sugar" is a horse.

According to "Sugar's" handlers, she is depressed and heart broken because Mr. Vereen never calls and did not follow through on his promise to ride her to Niagara Falls. CLICK HERE to read the story and view a picture of this equine Casanova. Men! Sometimes their knuckles still scrape the ground.

Advice For Men: How To Be Friends With A Woman

Men, do you have enough friends to fill a stadium, but when it comes to being friends with a woman you are clueless as to what to do? Read on for some helpful tips. If being friends with a woman is not on your agenda, go back to watching the football game and feed the dog. For those of you who are still reading, here we go!

Being friends with a woman isn't that much different than being friends with your guy buddies. There is a slightly different set of rules and you will have to open your mind to trying different things. First, the rules:
1) RESPECT.
If you are to be friends with a woman, you must show her the same amount, if not more respect than what you would show to men. If you respect a woman, she will be more apt to consider you as a friend. You will have to tone down the crude sexual references, vulgar language and female ogling that you normally share with your guy friends. Oh, and constantly dragging up female conquests of the past is not a good topic for conversation. Unless she specifically asks you to spill the beans about past liaisons to fulfill her own curiosity, stay off the subject. This goes for you married men as well. And if you think that by comparing your current female companion to past companions, in an effort to show the current one that she is superior in every way, FORGET IT! You may mean well, but THEY just don't get it. In their minds, any comparisons are an affront to them and their confidence as a woman. If you think that she's fantastic, just say it. If you are just casually dating and make plans to meet somewhere, be on time. Women also have boundaries that should not be crossed until she gives you the green light. Until such time, respect those boundaries as you would a RED light. A woman will match the respect that you give her in return. If the woman that you'd like to be friends with is your wife, respect should be an ongoing thing. Opening doors for her is such a small gesture, but you'd do the same for your guy friends wouldn't you? Don't expect a woman to share all of her secrets with you either. Women cherish their privacy, respect that too. If a woman shares more with you than she shares with her girl friends, consider yourself honored: you are a good friend!

2) JUST LISTEN!!
One key to being best friends with a woman is to just listen to her. You listen when your guy friends talk about what's happening, give a woman the same courtesy. Yes, her topics might seem strange and yes, her concerns might seem trivial to you and yes, her point of view may be different from what your guy friends' are but these things are not that hard to understand and they are what makes us grow as humans. If you are not the best conversationalist in the world then just listen. Being a sounding board for a woman shows her that you care. This will endear you to her. She will want to be your friend. Try not to be judgmental or get pulled into a gossip trap. She may be testing you. Be a stand-up guy and rise above. She will respect you all the more. You may get an earful of concerns or problems that you have no prior experience in solving. Don't try, you'll most likely get it wrong. Just listen. Women need to vent and sometimes they are venting about men. Open up your mind to see her point of view and you may find your best friend in a woman.

3) ACTIVITIES, ACTIVITIES.
"LET'S GET READY TO...............go shopping?" "Opposite sex" most times also means opposite ideas of entertainment. If your girlfriend/wife likes NASCAR, boxing, football, hunting, fishing, power tools and female mud wrestling, check her birth certificate. She's a MAN! If, in fact, there are no visible scars to the contrary, consider yourself lucky! The rest of us need to be more open minded. This will also be required of your potential female friend candidate. The easiest thing for both you and your lady friend to do is to make two separate lists. One will list all the activities that each of you love to do or are at least willing to try. The other list should contain every activity that you hate or wouldn't even consider trying. Make both lists broad and encompassing. When you're through, compare lists. You HAVE TO have some things in common, or are at least willing to try. I used to be a decent dart player, so I recently put up a dart board. I invited my wife to try it. She informed me that she wasn't ANY GOOD at it. We've played TWICE now and she's already beaten me once! I think she's a "ringer." Sorry, I digress. Guys, you have no idea what activities she may be interested in participating with you until you ask. Same goes for you. Put your "macho" image aside, and try cooking together. Go shopping with her. Grab her by the hand and take her for a long walk. Buy her a rod, reel and tackle box and take her fishing with you. If fishing is not her thing, just let her steer the boat. If you have both decided to partake in sports, try NOT to be so competitive. It won't kill you to lose once in a while. Oh, and NOBODY LIKES a sore loser. Not even your GUY friends. Encourage her and congratulate her when she wins. You do THAT with your guy friends too, don't you? Give her the same.

4) AFFECTION.
No, you fool, do NOT put her in a headlock and give her "noogies!" Nope, not a "wedgie" either. And don't even THINK about snapping a towel at her butt. Show her real affection. Make sure not to illegally cross any boundaries (see above) and always respect her (also see above). If your friendship with a woman is strictly platonic, be careful to gauge your affection accordingly. Consider this too when involved in a friendly, professional relationship. If you seek to be best friends with your wife or girlfriend, affection is the best way to start. I strongly and personally believe that you can't truly love someone who could never qualify as your best friend. When you fall in love with your best friend, there is no better feeling in the world.

If this advice helps you and enlightens you as a man, pass it along. We can use as much help as we can get.