THE ROAD TO HAPPINESS

That very popular 70’s show, “The Partridge Family,” had a line in its opening theme song that told us to “c’mon get happy!” Great advice. But is it that simple? Maybe not, and I should know. In March of 2007, a woman who I was casually dating broke off our relationship citing the fact that, “I was not happy.” “Wait a minute,” I said. “You’re not breaking up with me because I don’t make YOU happy. We’re breaking up because you think I’m not happy. Have I got that right?” Her reply: “That’s right.” At the time, I commented on how it was a “lame excuse” and that I was very happy. Today, after much thought and introspection, I have concluded that she was right. I was not happy.

But that exchange happened almost three years ago and a lot can change in that amount of time. I’ll discuss those changes later but for now I would like to explore what ‘happy’ is. ‘Happy’ is purely a state of mind. It is not a place you can visit. It is not something you can touch, see, hear, taste or smell. It cannot be weighed or counted. You cannot buy it or sell it. You cannot force it upon someone but sometimes it can be taken from you. Webster’s New World Dictionary defines “happy” as “having, showing, or causing great pleasure or joy.” So, ‘happy’ is the end result of something that brings you pleasure or joy. Which means that it will always be different for everyone.

As a human being I am constantly being exposed to things that make me ‘unhappy.’ Global warming, gas prices, food prices, the state of the economy, war, man's inhumanity towards his fellow man, my children’s coldness, all make me unhappy. In my quest for happiness I realized that most of the above I had no control over and could not change. Nevertheless, I was determined to be happy.

So, how do I get happy? First, I made a list of everything that I could think of that makes me happy. It was a long list. The stark reality of that exercise was that I no longer had those things in my life. Time, distance, culture, my age, my commitments, along with a few other factors, removed much of what made me happy from my life. My list included but was not limited to:
1) Being in love
2) Music
3) Friends
4) Cinema
5) Reading
6) Writing
7) The gym
8) My car
9) Time for play

I realized I wasn’t putting enough effort into incorporating those things back into my life. But, since compiling my list I have met my ‘soul mate,’ my ‘other half’ so to speak and find joy being in love. I have made new friends and acquaintances that bring joy to my life. I have started expanding my record (yes, record) collection to include the kind of music I love and that brings me joy. I rent more classic movies to watch at home. Movies from my childhood. Movies I enjoyed. I have found time to read again. I have started writing this blog site which you are currently reading. I extract great joy from it. I have joined the local Y.M.C.A. and try to exercise more. I will take my girl, pack a lunch and go for long drives in the country. And lastly, I have found time to play. I have increased the number of things that brought me joy, thereby making me happy.

So, in closing, my advice today is to tell everyone to be happy. How? Make a list. Check it twice. Bring happiness back into your life. But first, be happy with yourself. Like yourself. If you’re under the delusion that money will buy you happiness, forget it. True, money buys toys, and toys can bring you joy, but like a toddler, you will lose interest and put them down. Well, maybe not a jet ski. Or a Ferrari. Or a cabin cruiser. Or a vacation traveling the world. Alright, I stand corrected. Money does buy happiness. Forget the whole thing.