Today I had an epiphany while watching "weird news" videos on MSN. The question that has vexed me for so long was finally answered: Why are there "BIGFOOT" sightings? Because certain WHACKO people crave attention. Case in point.Recently, in San Antonio, Texas (trouble already) an anonymous caller told police (hint #1) that a "large and tall, hairy creature was spotted dragging a dear carcass into the woods." The caller gave a small stretch of woods right next to highway 1604 as the location of the sighting. According to the news woman handling the story, police "found nothing" along the path that the caller described, (hint #2.) BUT WAIT! Seemingly out of nowhere pops up Rick Tullos, head of (get this) "The Gulf Coast Bigfoot Research Organization" complete with logo patch on his hat and camouflage jacket, (hint #3.) We spend the next 30 seconds watching Rick and the news woman walking through the woods looking for clues. As they are walking along a path not TEN FEET from busy highway 1604 with cars whizzing by, the news woman looks down to see a pile of manure right before her.
"Is this from the creature?" she asks Rick. As the cameraman zooms in for a closeup of the mysterious manure, Rick says, "Nope. Cow pie." WHAT!! ARE YOU INSANE?? Cows walking along an UN-FENCED strip of grass right next to a busy highway. I don't think so. I think Rick almost stepped in what he's selling! But Rick isn't done garnering attention just yet. Lo and behold, Rick stumbles upon tracks that according to him, "don't seem human!" (hint #4) Nope, he'll analyze the tracks and "hopefully find some more" as he puts it. At this point the cameraman zooms in on what looks like ruts in the grass and underbrush. They looked nothing like tracks to me. I think it's pretty obvious to everyone who's responsible for this bit of shenanigans don't you? Everybody needs a hobby. Some collect stamps. Others collect baseball cards while others travel the country looking for elusive creatures that THEY invent. All for a little attention. Now, if you want some REAL attention, cheat on your wife!
