ADVICE FOR WOMEN: AVOID THIS MISTAKE.

If you're a reader of this blog, by now you may know my opinion of men. I blame them for most of the world's strife and for not striving to become better human beings. But, not all men fall into these categories. Time nor space allows me to name all the good men on the planet but each and every one of us knows one or more. As time passes and I grow older and hopefully wiser, I have noticed a condition or set of circumstances that contribute or cause families to break down and fall apart. I have watched couples that I have known through the years grow further apart and ultimately divorce. I believe I have uncovered a universal root cause: Women tend to ignore their husbands when children are added to a relationship. If your view of women is of the caretaker, then this is a natural thing and should not be looked upon as a fault. In general, women spend much more time with their children unless they have a stay at home dad and the wife is the main provider. Unfortunately, in today's society, both mother and father need to work to support a family. Back to the subject at hand. Of the couple's I have known, in every single instance where divorce divided the family, one key ingredient was always missing: true, unquestionable, love. They never truly loved each other. Most were high school sweethearts that thought marriage was the next logical step in their relationship. But the love we experience when we're young isn't always strong enough to keep a relationship going when kids are thrown into the mix. Couple the fact that most men are selfish and self-centered with a wife whose children demand most of her attention and time, and it's no wonder most men feel ignored and useless. They distance themselves from the family, spend time with their buddies or go off on their own, counting the days until they can leave.

I am not pointing the finger of blame at any one person. I am merely stating the obvious. Men need to take more of an active role in raising children. If a marriage is a partnership then both parents should work in unison. If a man comes home from work after a long day, drops himself on the couch and gets sucked into the T.V. set, he's going to miss out on a lot. By the same token, a woman needs to divide her time between her children and her man. But, some men are already absent from the relationship by the time the kids come along. No amount of attention or inclusion is going to make them stay. Here is where that initial bond of true love comes into play. If it wasn't there in the beginning, and the kids take all of mommy's time, the relationship is doomed. Another big mistake that women make is thinking that by adding some children into a "rocky" marriage, they will be the cement that binds them. This action can go either way, but in every scenario that I have seen this happen, the results were always the same: A long, loveless marriage where the kids are the pawns and suffer in the end.

So, my advice is plain: Marry someone that you are truly in love with. Let children be the result of that love. Let the job of raising them be a joint effort and never take your partner for granted.