ADVICE FOR ALL: THEY'RE ONLY A THREAT IF YOU INVITE THEM IN!

If you think the title of this article refers to terrorists who come over to this country to visit and stay, then you are sadly mistaken. I am referring to a more flamboyant group of individuals, VAMPIRES! That's right, those pale skinned folk who always dress in black. And, as the title suggests, you have to invite them into your home before they can wreck havoc on your throat.

And that's the problem with vampires, they are not very discreet. For people who have much to hide, they sure give a lot away. Take America's first mainstream  film vampire, "Dracula" for example. Bela Lugosi, who played the "Count" used to tell folks all the time, "I VANT to suck your blood!" He really let the dogs out on that one. Hey, don't be shy, tell us what your plans are. Not very bright. Like, after that statement we'd just draw a target around our jugulars and say, "have at it." And what's with the black wardrobe all the time? Don't they know what a faux pas it is to wear black after Easter? And TOO much glitter doesn't look good on ANYBODY, let alone the "undead."

Why do vampires insist on telling us they're vampires? Does everyone have to come out of the closet? I don't go around telling everyone, "I'm not a vampire," do I? Vampires have to be discreet or else we'll know that they are different from us. VERY DIFFERENT!!  A guy named "Rocky Flash," is just such an individual. (not his real name)  and not to be confused with, "Rocky Graziano," Rocky Balboa," "Rocky and Bullwinkle," or "Rocky" relationships. Why? Because "Rocky Flash" is the self-confessed leader of the "Vampyre Nation," that's why! Another guy who can't keep a secret. And why should anybody know his name at all or even care? Because this lunatic moron threatened a judge with dismemberment and impalement and not necessarily in that order. This is what happens when mentally unstable, society skill-lacking, self absorbed, delusions of grandeur, attention seeking losers come out of their basements. CLICK HERE to read this hysterical story for yourselves. My advice to all would-be vampires: Forget this "Twilight" nonsense and go watch "Sherlock Holmes" instead.